some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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