I got chris browned last night
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
