Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
