Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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