Swine flu. Run for my life!
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
