Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
