In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Its about making memories worth repressing
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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