we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
