Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
