Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
