i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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