do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize