This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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