I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
