Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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