I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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