I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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