Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
