whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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