i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
