why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
