Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize