i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I am naked and annoyed.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
