woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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