Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
