and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
My room smells like vodka and shame
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Randomize
