i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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