He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
