hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
