So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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