grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize