It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
