Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Randomize
