I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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