how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize