Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Randomize
