Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
