worst night to have a conscience
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
