PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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