remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Say something about gay babies.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
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