i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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