You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
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