Four minutes until I can fart!
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Can I color on your dick again?
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
