Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
