Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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