my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
