dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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