i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
