Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
its liver damage thursday
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