If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
