i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
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