There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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