i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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