You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
