Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
