So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
