Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
