I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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