I need help removing her.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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