No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
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