My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
