Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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