seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
