when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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