So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
