we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
